Catching up

  So I got behind on blogging due to laziness, the holidays, fighting kids or some other random excuse. I figure with me starting back to work next week I may not be back here for a while.
  Christmas was great celebrating with 3 kiddos and me and Tom both being off. The kids got far far too many gifts but they loved them nonetheless. Dane's favorite gift was the wrapping paper his gifts came in. He basically played with it much of the day. Oh well maybe next year he will actually enjoy the gift:)

                                                                 Christmas morning

                                          Dane wearing his 12 month my first Christmas shirt

  Dane went to his occupational therapy appointment and saw the international adoption doctor and they stuck my boy many times that day. He was NOT a happy camper.  So far most of his lab work has been negative or normal and we will be repeating a few of them in a few months to see if they are back to normal.  We are now going to be seeing an eye doctor, a hearing doctor, and a feeding evaluation will be done as well. We start physical therapy this week to see if we can get my little man walking someday soon. We got some positive feedback from his doctor and we are left with a few wait and sees. She would like to see if all the therapies help him before we go into anything invasive right now.  I have complete faith that we will not have to go that far. My little Dane just needs to be put to work to get them legs up and moving.
   Anyway I have enjoyed being off with my babies and am going to miss them when I go back to work.   They all fight like cats and dogs but they still love each other. Sometimes I see Dane and Gabe play together and I know one day they are going to be best buds. Lindze chooses the day as to who she wants to deal with between her two brothers. Oh the life of an almost 9 year old girl.  I love my hubby and my kids and life is pretty great right now:)

                                                         My very beautiful daughter

                                                         Dane so does not trust Gabe

                                                       Naked brothers playing together:)

One Month

                                                                    Gotcha Day

                                                                    One Month Later

  It is amazing how much a child can change. One month ago today we received this little boy that would be our son.  I guess I should say we were blessed by God himself to be chosen to be his parents. What an amazing experience to adopt a child. We've done it 3 times and each time it was a little different.
  With Lindze we were inexperienced in adopting much less international adopting and in parenting so it had all kinds of firsts.  We were brought to a building with 8 other families and we saw these nannies carrying these little girls around and we waited for our names to be called so we could be "presented" with our new daughters. Our name was called and we were holding this rather shocked one year old. It was absolutely surreal because in those few minutes we became a family of three just like that.  Lindze was and is a complete joy to parent. I could not have asked for a better child as my "first".
  With Gabriel 4 years later it is a totally different story but the main gist of it is that we brought home this very tiny 6 week old and can I tell you how different it is to receive a 6 week old versus a one year old.  All I can say is many sleepless nights but what a Godsend to be given the opportunity to actually parent a little baby.  This is something I never thought I would experience in our pursuit of a family through adoption.  Out of nowhere we became a family of four. Gabe is growing so fast and even though some days he really really tries my patience, I love everything about him. You never know what he is going to say or do. He is another one of my true blessings.
  Now with Dane 12 families were loaded on a bus and taken to a building where we all waited for different vehicles to arrive from different cities with all of our kids. Most all of the kids arrived before Dane got there. You see they had to drive 4 hours from Nanyang in order to bring him and one other little girl. We were standing around watching and all of a sudden they brought in this tiny little boy bundled in 5 layers of clothing and then we heard Dang Jin Wei and they just put him in our arms. His shock was written all over his face but he was so bundled he couldn't fight us.  We had to sign guardianship papers and then we were taken back to the hotel. Boom family of five just like that.
 So in one month Dane calls me "ma ma" and Tom "da da". He says "bye", "bah bah". He sign languages "more" when he is eating. He has rolled over twice and has learned to finger feed himself. He actually took a few sips from a bottle the other day without me squeezing it in. All in all he is making strides everyday.  I cannot wait to see where he is a year from now because I know he is going to keep amazing us everyday.  So anyway Happy One Month Anniversary to our peanut Dane. We love you!!!!!!!!!

                                                               He despises baths!

                                                              Handsome or what!!!!

                                                                  The grumpy pirate

A little update

He is definitely our little Peanut. We have started putting 12 month clothes on him and they are actually a little big on him. We had bought a carseat for him but are now going to have to switch it for another one because he is too little for the one in the picture:/
 Anyway Dane is doing well. He is finally sleeping through the night after a few nights of screaming starting on Saturday night when we got home. We have come to the conclusion that he is at a 6 month developmental level due to his inability to roll over, crawl, feed himself, or walk. We feel that no one ever worked with him when it came to sucking a bottle or sippy cup so he never learned.  So our biggest issue right now is lots of problems going to the bathroom. He just doesn't get enough liquid so he is constantly constipated.  We have been doing everything humanly possible to help him but he just lays on the floor and cries with sweat beading on his little face in order to go potty. Heartbreaking to say the least. We are going to his doctor on Tuesday to see what he suggests and then we will see an international adoption specialist plus occupational therapy in January.   I am praying they can come up with some suggestions on how to get him to drink.
So I keep wondering is part of his delays due to no one working with him in his foster home or are his delays due to an underlying issue or because he was a premie?  We contemplate this all the time. Is he going to grow up to be a normal developing little boy or is he always going to be "delayed"?  We will love him no matter how things go.
We have run into lots and lots of jealousy issues with our 3 year old and his behavior has taken a drastic turn for the worse. He is constantly in trouble and in time out. If I hold Dane or play with Dane, Gabe gets right in the middle or he will take Dane's toy away. If I hold Gabe, Dane starts to cry.  Really driving me nuts!!  Also as Dane gets use to his (and Gabe's) room, Gabe has been sleeping with me and now he refuses to go back to his room. My sleep which was already completely messed up is now even further messed up by my 3 year old rugrat.
Now my Lindze has become such a helper since Dane came along. She is always quick to jump in if he starts crying or if I need someone to feed him for a moment while I deal with Gabe who has decided he cannot feed himself anymore:/  She loves both her brothers but I think she is sort of smitten with her Asian brother. I wonder why;)
So that is my life right now. Our first post placement home visit is this Friday so time is moving right along. I actually worked on my next schedule for work last night so in a little over one month I will be going back to the Vandy night shift thing again.  I am interested to see how I handle 3 nights a week with 3 kids.  I do have a sense of peace now with adopting. I know we have a mountain to face with Dane and his delays but it is so refreshing to know that after so many years of adopting and trying to adopt.... We are done.  I know there will always be that little voice in my head that asks... What about Alek Manas? I have dealt with and accepted what happened to our attempted adoption in Kyrgyzstan and know I never had any control over that situation.  What I do know is in January of 2005 Tom and I one day after receiving our one year old daughter Lindze were at her orphanage in Nanchang, China looking into a nursery full of babies and we both said that we had to bring one more home because it broke our heart to see so many babies laying there without families. We have fulfilled that promise we made so many years ago and our little family is complete and I am so at peace now.

                                                            My Little Cowboys

                                                          Gabe still loves his brother

                                                                I'm sooooo big!!!!

About Dane

I am the world's worse blogger but the VPN here is sketchy and I have more Facebook followers so I've ben sticking with Facebook. Well we have our little peanut and that word is not an underestimation. He is very little but very stocky. He was in shock on Gotcha Day so he cried very little that day. Basically the only time he cries is if he is hungry or if one of his new teeth starts to hurt him.  We have come to the conclusion that he is not just mentally delayed but he has global delays. He is 20 months old but he cannot suck a bottle which any child his age should be doing so getting fluids in him has been challenging to say the least. We have resorted to a Haberman feeder to push the fluids into him. He is not a milk fan but our guide has encouraged us to put him back on formula due to his small size.  He can sit up if you sit him up but he can not sit up by himself. He cannot even roll from back to front or vice versa and of course he cannot walk. He can pick up  a toy off the floor that is around him but when you try to get him to feed himself a snack, he doesn't know what to do so we feed him everything ourself. We are working with him as much as we can from here but it is obvious he will need multiple therapies in order to catch up. He is a happy baby but when he becomes upset, he has learned to self soothe himself by placing his arm in front of his face and putting his lips to it. He has been doing that since the day he was placed in my arms. He is a momma's boy and he adores his sister. He doesn't seem to have a fear of his daddy either so this is a very good thing.   All in all we feel like we are bringing home a baby instead of a 20 month old toddler but that is okay, we are in love with this kid. Keep praying for our little peanut and that he continues to bond with all of us and deal with the transition that he is going through. Thanks be to God for our new little addition!

15 More Hours

  Well the time has come. We leave at 6:30 tomorrow morning for our long awaited journey to bring home our little Dane. It seems like this has taken forever but we actually started this China adoption in February of this year.  We are going to be staying in Beijing a few days in order to see several of the sites and then on Sunday we fly down to Zhengzhou where our little peanut has been living for the last 20 months. On Monday the 19th, orphanage personnel will bring us our sweet boy. I cannot wait to wrap my arms around that sweet boy and tell him how much I love him.   We will spend several days in the Henan province doing various paperwork and of course celebrating Thanksgiving with many other adoptive families that we will have the pleasure of meeting and spending many days with. On November 24th we fly down to Guangzhou which is where the US consulate is.  This is where we get Dane's final paperwork in order so he can come home with us. We go to the consulate on November 29th and take the oath. On December 1st we fly home and thanks to a 14 hour time difference we actually arrive in Nashville at 10:00 PM December 1st.   We welcome anyone who wants to meet Dane to the airport that night because we may not be leaving our house for a while once we are home. 

  I have a few prayer requests... One is that we have a safe flight. We are flying on 8 different flights while we are gone and as we have done this before, I still worry about our safety with that much flying. I ask that you will keep Lindze in your prayers as this is a long journey and a lot to take in. She gets to see firsthand how we went about bringing her home and I don't know how this is going to affect her. I also ask that you pray for sweet Dane who is getting ripped out of the only home he has only known and getting thrown into strangers arms. I cannot imagine how this is going to upset him. I know eventually he will be okay but please pray for the initial few days and that God will heal his poor little broken heart.  My last prayer request is for my little Gabriel. We are leaving him for almost 18 days. We plan on Skyping with him as much as humanly possible but leaving him is tearing me up and I haven't even left yet.  I love that kid and I have given him a kiss and a hug every day since the day God blessed us with him at 6 weeks old.  My brother Brandon and sister in law Catherine are going to be caring for him while we are gone and I know he is in great hands.   At this point it is all in God's hands and I know he will take care of us. 

    I will be trying to update everyone via Facebook or through my blog as we go along on our trip. Thank you for all the support and many prayers that have been sent up as we have journeyed toward getting Dane home. 

   

Orphan Sunday

On this day known as Orphan Sunday we must remember the ones that were left behind. This little boy touched a special place in my heart that can never be filled. He was my son for almost 4 years and due to reasons out of my control I lost him.  He is still loved and thought of by many that prayed he would make it home from a country that does not care one bit about the orphans. I still pray every day that one day he can become a son to a mom and dad and escape the life he lives now.  This little boy will never be forgotten and always loved from far away.

CA

Can it be true? We are actually going to China in 16 days and we will be getting our sweet peanut on November 19th. By God's grace and love we are almost at the end of our adoption journey. As of right now we fly out on November 14th and then fly home December 1st. We are flying Korean airlines which is great because when we went to Kyrgyzstan we were in pure misery so everyone is excited about our "good" flights. We are excited about everything!!  So now begins the panicked packing and making tons of arrangements for leaving Gabe with my brother and sis in law. I have decided the worse part that I am facing now is leaving Gabe.  I have seen that little squirt every day since we brought him home at 6 weeks old. I would gladly give up much sleep to see my babies everyday and get that kiss, hug and "I love you momma". Hopefully between Skype and Facetime I can talk and see him face to face much!!
  So keep the prayers coming that everything is smooth sailing and we get our boy with no issues. Also please pray for Dane as we are about to take him away from the only family he has only known since he was one month old.