Wednesday, December 19, 2012
It is amazing how much a child can change. One month ago today we received this little boy that would be our son. I guess I should say we were blessed by God himself to be chosen to be his parents. What an amazing experience to adopt a child. We've done it 3 times and each time it was a little different.
With Lindze we were inexperienced in adopting much less international adopting and in parenting so it had all kinds of firsts. We were brought to a building with 8 other families and we saw these nannies carrying these little girls around and we waited for our names to be called so we could be "presented" with our new daughters. Our name was called and we were holding this rather shocked one year old. It was absolutely surreal because in those few minutes we became a family of three just like that. Lindze was and is a complete joy to parent. I could not have asked for a better child as my "first".
With Gabriel 4 years later it is a totally different story but the main gist of it is that we brought home this very tiny 6 week old and can I tell you how different it is to receive a 6 week old versus a one year old. All I can say is many sleepless nights but what a Godsend to be given the opportunity to actually parent a little baby. This is something I never thought I would experience in our pursuit of a family through adoption. Out of nowhere we became a family of four. Gabe is growing so fast and even though some days he really really tries my patience, I love everything about him. You never know what he is going to say or do. He is another one of my true blessings.
Now with Dane 12 families were loaded on a bus and taken to a building where we all waited for different vehicles to arrive from different cities with all of our kids. Most all of the kids arrived before Dane got there. You see they had to drive 4 hours from Nanyang in order to bring him and one other little girl. We were standing around watching and all of a sudden they brought in this tiny little boy bundled in 5 layers of clothing and then we heard Dang Jin Wei and they just put him in our arms. His shock was written all over his face but he was so bundled he couldn't fight us. We had to sign guardianship papers and then we were taken back to the hotel. Boom family of five just like that.
So in one month Dane calls me "ma ma" and Tom "da da". He says "bye", "bah bah". He sign languages "more" when he is eating. He has rolled over twice and has learned to finger feed himself. He actually took a few sips from a bottle the other day without me squeezing it in. All in all he is making strides everyday. I cannot wait to see where he is a year from now because I know he is going to keep amazing us everyday. So anyway Happy One Month Anniversary to our peanut Dane. We love you!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Anyway Dane is doing well. He is finally sleeping through the night after a few nights of screaming starting on Saturday night when we got home. We have come to the conclusion that he is at a 6 month developmental level due to his inability to roll over, crawl, feed himself, or walk. We feel that no one ever worked with him when it came to sucking a bottle or sippy cup so he never learned. So our biggest issue right now is lots of problems going to the bathroom. He just doesn't get enough liquid so he is constantly constipated. We have been doing everything humanly possible to help him but he just lays on the floor and cries with sweat beading on his little face in order to go potty. Heartbreaking to say the least. We are going to his doctor on Tuesday to see what he suggests and then we will see an international adoption specialist plus occupational therapy in January. I am praying they can come up with some suggestions on how to get him to drink.
So I keep wondering is part of his delays due to no one working with him in his foster home or are his delays due to an underlying issue or because he was a premie? We contemplate this all the time. Is he going to grow up to be a normal developing little boy or is he always going to be "delayed"? We will love him no matter how things go.
We have run into lots and lots of jealousy issues with our 3 year old and his behavior has taken a drastic turn for the worse. He is constantly in trouble and in time out. If I hold Dane or play with Dane, Gabe gets right in the middle or he will take Dane's toy away. If I hold Gabe, Dane starts to cry. Really driving me nuts!! Also as Dane gets use to his (and Gabe's) room, Gabe has been sleeping with me and now he refuses to go back to his room. My sleep which was already completely messed up is now even further messed up by my 3 year old rugrat.
Now my Lindze has become such a helper since Dane came along. She is always quick to jump in if he starts crying or if I need someone to feed him for a moment while I deal with Gabe who has decided he cannot feed himself anymore:/ She loves both her brothers but I think she is sort of smitten with her Asian brother. I wonder why;)
So that is my life right now. Our first post placement home visit is this Friday so time is moving right along. I actually worked on my next schedule for work last night so in a little over one month I will be going back to the Vandy night shift thing again. I am interested to see how I handle 3 nights a week with 3 kids. I do have a sense of peace now with adopting. I know we have a mountain to face with Dane and his delays but it is so refreshing to know that after so many years of adopting and trying to adopt.... We are done. I know there will always be that little voice in my head that asks... What about Alek Manas? I have dealt with and accepted what happened to our attempted adoption in Kyrgyzstan and know I never had any control over that situation. What I do know is in January of 2005 Tom and I one day after receiving our one year old daughter Lindze were at her orphanage in Nanchang, China looking into a nursery full of babies and we both said that we had to bring one more home because it broke our heart to see so many babies laying there without families. We have fulfilled that promise we made so many years ago and our little family is complete and I am so at peace now.