Too Cute

I have a best friend who is the most thoughtful person in the world. She was sweet enough to check on me at work when Little Man turned one. She also bought me the cutest picture frames with the words Little Man actually on it. I cannot wait to get him home in order to put a special picture in it. Thank you Heather for always being there for me.

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy 1st birthday to my sweet little man. Mommy and daddy miss you and wish we could have given you a very special birthday. The pictures we received this week from T were the best yet. You had the best smile I have ever seen. I am sorry you are still there and not home where you should have been months ago. We miss you with all of our hearts and we will make up all of the lost time when you come home. Mommy just wants you to keep holding on and know we are coming for you one day no matter how long they make us wait. We love you, we miss you and we pray for our baby boy. Loves and kisses from afar!!!!

Prayers

Nothing new on the adoption front. The phone conference yielded no new news today and for that I am very frustrated. I miss my little boy and think about every milestone I am missing as he is getting ready to turn 1 in less than 2 weeks. I promised him in July that Mommy would be back soon to bring him home and that has not happened. He is very healthy according to all of the reports that I get and for that I feel blessed. I just miss him and I refuse to give up on him. I know that one of these days he will be coming home.
I ask for prayers as a dear friend of mine has a child who is not doing well. She has not held or seen her baby girl for several months. All she gets are reports and the occasional picture of her sweet girl. I feel for her, I pray for her and I cry for her. That is all that I can do at this point. If things had been different she would be home and gotten the medical care she so desperately needed. Please just keep this precious baby and her family in your prayers.

11 Months Old

Happy 11 month birthday to my sweet little man. We miss you so much and want you home so bad. Your pictures that we received last week were adorable. I just loved the way you smiled for the camera.
Well another month has passed and we know nothing as to when he will be home or if he will ever be home. Tom and I have separated ourselves completely from the situation lately. This adoption has consumed so much of our life lately that we just had to step back and focus on our life now with Lindze. We are still discussing what we will do if this country decides to stop adoptions. I e-mailed J. recently about this possibly happening and for the first time since we started this process she did not try to defend them and say that adoptions would not stop. Rumor has it that we will hear more regarding the future of adoptions some time next week after a big meeting. J. is out of town for a while so we will not hear any news from her until she comes back. I just want to know "yes or no" so Tom and I can deal with it and we don't have to keep up this "wait until this or wait until that" that we have dealt with for the last long 6 months.
Happy Birthday again Little Man. Mommy, daddy and sister love and miss you!!

10 Months Old

Happy 10 month birthday little man. Another one missed. We love you.

Messed Up.

My blog is acting funny and I am trying to fix the problem.

What To Do Now?

Well this adoption has turned out to be the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I have to say that if you have read Suzanne from FL's blog today that is exactly how I feel. I just have no positive feelings that this country is ever going to allow us to bring home our babies. They keep making promises only to break them at each and every turn. I love my son more than anything but I may have to face the fact that loving him from afar is all I will ever be able to do. I have decided no to an interim trip because I cannot possibly go and hold and bond with him again and maybe never see him again. I started this adoption process 3 years ago with China. We were determined we would adopt a second child after we brought Lindze home. We started one year from the date that Lindze got home not knowing what we would go through for 3 stinking years. My new dilemma is that Kyrgyzstan is a concurrent adoption and China is now in March of 2006 with referrals and we are logged in at the end of April. What do I do? Give up China and hope that Little Man will one day be allowed to come home or wait a little longer and then decide. We only have a few months to decide because we would need to update everything with China. China has been the slowest I have ever seen but at least by golly I know I will have a child to bring home. Little Man's country does not even know what they are doing and they don't give a rats tail about those kids. If they did we would all have our babies home by now. I obsess about this everyday and I am driving my family nuts. Something is going to have to give soon.